The Everything Box Cards Against Humanity Card List

The Everything Box is a deck of cards that contains everything about the chaotic world we’re living in, including politics and COVID-19. There will be 300 new cards added to your Cards Against Humanity collection, and they’re definitely a game changer. You’re probably very curious to read the cards, right? Read the card list below instead!

You might consider getting Cards Against Prythian from our store with a discount. 

The Everything Box Black Cards List

1. A new adventure awaits at Walt Disney’s Magical Kingdom of ______!
2. After phasing out orca shows, SeaWorld is now attracting customers with ______.
3. Alright, I’m done with ______. It’s time for _____.
4. And now, from WHYY in Philadelphia, it’s “______ with Terry Gross.”
5. As a feminist, I cannot support ______.
6. Because I could not stop for Death–He kindly stopped for me– The Carriage held but just Ourselves- And ______. — Emily Dickinson.
7. Every Tuesday, I purchase a box of donuts. I sit on the toilet. I eat the donuts. I remember ______, and I cry.
8. Few remember Beethoven’s lesser-known symphony, “Ode to ______.”
9. FIRST LOOK: Nike drops hot new sneakers designed exclusively for ______.
10. Hey everybody! It’s “______ Guy.”
11. Hey, check out my podcast! It’s just two regular guys talking about ______.
12. Holy MOLY! Now THAT’S what I call ______!
13. How am I, the Card Czar, going to die?
14. I only saw my father cry twice: once after Mom died, and once after ______.
15. I’m ______, you’re ______, let’s party!
16. I’m Ted Cruz, and I’m proud to endorse ______.
17. I’m that bad type. Make your mama sad type. Might seduce your dad type. I’m ______.
18. Incredible! Biologists have discovered an octopus capable of ______.
19. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of ______.
20. It’s very simple. You give me sex. I give you ______.
21. Join our peaceful community. We eat grapes. We live in tents. We enjoy ______, together.
22. Lord, please guide my baby girl back to you and away from ______. Amen.
23. Lucky to be ALIVE! Kylie Jenner’s TERRIFYING encounter with ______.
24. Me: Hey, Randy! What’s going on? Randy: Aw nothing, man. Just ______.
25. Men like ______.
26. Mom! Mom! Look at me, Mom! I’m ______!
27. Momma always said, “Life is like ______. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
28. Mr. Musk, as your legal counsel, I must strongly advise against ______.
29. My favorite rapper is “Lil ______.”
30. My penis is ______.
31. My vagina is ______.
32. Now on Disney+! Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of ______.
33. Pssst. You go around back. I’ll distract the guards with ______.
34. Ready or not, here comes ______!
35. The first rule of Fight Club is: don’t talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: don’t talk about ______.
36. The year is 2150. The president is ______.
37. There is a video circulating on the Internet that does not represent who I am. I made a vile mistake in my youth, and I deeply regret it. Please don’t watch the ______ video.
38. Today’s technical challenge comes from Paul Hollywood. He would like six identical pastries in the shape of ______.
39. Two roads diverged in a yellow wood–I chose ______, And that has made all the difference.
40. Up next on Fox News: Are college students being radicalized by ______?
41. WARNING: ______ may cause ______.
42. Welcome to the jungle! We’ve got ______.
43. Welcome to Hidden Creek Water Park. Please remember that we do not allow ______ in the pool.
44. What’s better when clowns are involved?
45. What’s big, sweaty, and fantastic?
46. What’s kind of sad, kind of beautiful, but also kind of funny?
47. Yo, is _____racist?
48. You ______, bro!
49. You better lose yourself in the music. The moment you own it, you better never let it go. You only get one shot, do not miss your chance for ______.
50. You’re on a first date. What’s an instant red flag?

They’re so dramatic. Just like Cards Against Kardashians. 

The Everything Box White Cards List

1. 70s bush.
2. 9/11 but with monkeys.
3. A Big Mouth Billy Bass that just screams.
4. A bird funeral.
5. A bit of a tarantula problem.
6. A chode.
7. A dangerous new type of onion.
8. A dentist named Funboy.
9. A fuck swing.
10. A geisha who is clearly Ronald McDonald.
11. A huge swan that wants to fuck.
12. A little boy in a sailor suit.
13. A little heroin here and there.
14. A meeting that could’ve been an email.
15. A missed period.
16. A mule that can say “Walmart.”
17. A national conversation about race.
18. A penis with its own smaller penis.
19. A perfectly ordinary object, like a pen.
20. A red wheelbarrow glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.
21. A restraining order.
22. A sexually charged game of chess.
23. A sexy little bald guy.
24. A shirtless Uber driver.
25. A skinny, submissive husband.
26. A viable third-party candidate.
27. A VR horse-fucking simulator.
28. A ziplock bag of soup.
29. Affirmative action.
30. Aging terribly.
31. All y’all motherfuckers.
32. An $80,000 bill from the hospital.
33. An arranged marriage.
34. An avalanche of ground beef.
35. Anxiety-baking a hundred muffins.
36. Any kind of sex with anybody.
37. Apartheid.
38. Arguing.
39. Asking for money.
40. Asking the dentist for more teeth.
41. Asking to see the manager.
42. Bad music or stupid people.
43. Bad stand-up comedy.
44. Bangin’ bimbos and boppin’ bongos!
45. Being 1/16th Native American.
46. Being a bad, racist policeman.
47. Being a pervert.
48. Being acquired by Amazon.
49. Being mindful of cyclists.
50. Being nervous around white people.
51. Being the product of incest.
52. Big snake!
53. Bitcoin.
54. Black Republicans.
55. Bleeding through another jumbo tampon.
56. Brian, the man who works at the Guitar Center.
57. Building systems and coordinating processes.
58. Buildings.
59. Bush’s Baked Beans.
60. Buying things to fill the emptiness inside.
61. Cashews.
62. Chinese President Xi Jinping.
63. Choking to death on a Werther’s Original.
64. Couples therapy.
65. Crandolph, my sweet egg boy.
66. Crankin’ my hog in the middle of a Zoom call.
67. Crying “Yes, Father!” while getting spanked.
68. Deteriorating mental health.
69. Diabetes.
70. DiGiorno.
71. Dissolving my husband’s body in acid.
72. Divorced billionaire energy.
73. Doing nothing about climate change.
74. Domestic terrorism.
75. Drag queens.
76. Eating a huge bowl of pasta like a fat piece of shit.
77. Edging.
78. Escaping from North Korea.
79. Expanding British commercial interests in Nigeria.
80. Faking a pregnancy.
81. Falling down the stairs.
82. Falling in love with a turkey.
83. Farting out a little boy’s birthday candles.
84. Feeding a three-course Italian dinner to a mailbox.
85. Figuring out how to stop Black people from voting.
86. Fleeing the country.
87. Fucking a pregnant clown.
88. Fucking me.
89. Gathering all the world leaders in one room and showing them my pussy.
90. Gay.
91. Getting bukkaked by twenty Spider-Men.
92. Getting crunched into a ball and slammed through a hoop by LeBron James.
93. Getting dick tonight.
94. Getting drafted and having to be in the army.
95. Getting involved in local politics.
96. Getting spayed.
97. Getting swole.
98. Getting tazed in the balls.
99. Getting waterboarded.
100. Getting white-girl wasted.
101. Giving $5 to Black Lives Matter.
102. Glittering my pubes.
103. Going to a Maroon 5 concert in 2007.
104. Golf.
105. Googling “lenny kravitz penis.”
106. Grandpa jerking it to Betty Boop.
107. Hands.
108. Having a bad life.
109. Having a really cool nickname, like “The Sledgehammer.”
110. Having a thousand best friends but they’re all pigeons.
111. Having an affair.
112. Having divorced parents.
113. Having six weeks left to live.
114. Hentai.
115. Holding a lantern and saying, “Who goes there?”
116. Hootin’ and hollerin’.
117. Hooves.
118. Horny.
119. How sad it is that Tom Hanks died of COVID.
120. HPV.
121. Huge American children.
122. I am a goat.
123. Idk lol
124. Impostor Syndrome.
125. Inhaling a bird mid-yawn.
126. Janky tits that go clankety-clank.
127. Killing God.
128. Knowing the legal age of consent in all 50 states.
129. Laying a Nintendo at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
130. Leonardo DiCaprio having sex with a jar of mango salsa.
131. Literally fucking the police.
132. Livin’ la vida loca.
133. Looking at an infographic and saying “wow.”
134. Losing custody of the kids.
135. Lowering your standards.
136. Lying face-down in wet cement.
137. Making friends as an adult.
138. Making love atop a windswept mesa as the sun blooms on the horizon.
139. Mitch McConnell.
140. More cowbell.
141. Muh truck.
142. My beautiful granddaughter.
143. My landlord.
144. My man, Horace.
145. Namazu, the giant mythical catfish.
146. Nelson Mandela.
147. Neoliberalism.
148. Norwegian mansluts.
149. OnlyFans.com
150. Organized religion.
151. Passing as white.
152. Peeeeeeee!
153. Permanent brain damage from football.
154. Personal growth.
155. Playing the cello like a gorilla having a stroke.
156. Profiting off the exploited labor of the working class.
157. Promoting democracy in the Middle East.
158. Pulling Grandpa’s pants down and smacking his old butt.
159. Punching my dad in the face and stealing his car.
160. Putting a bookmark in your pussy to remind where I left off.
161. Putting the Pop-Tarts in the toaster like a self-respecting person.
162. Quality custom upholstery at unbeatable prices.
163. Quitting.
164. Receiving anal pleasure at Burger King.
165. Referring to a mozzarella stick as a “bad boy.”
166. Refusing to pay federal or state income taxes.
167. Remembering that Donald Trump was the president.
168. Renouncing Christ.
169. Resonating with the Earth’s vibrational energy.
170. Returning all money to its rightful owner, Jeff Bezos.
171. Ribs, the food that’s got BONES!
172. Rudy Giuliani.
173. Running a marathon because oooooh look at me!
174. Running my tongue all the way from your forehead to your asshole in one long, creepy stroke.
175. RuPaul.
176. Russian propaganda.
177. Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman.
178. Saying “fuck it” and stepping off a cliff.
179. Saying grace before sex.
180. Sexy stinky werewolf boys.
181. Shattered hopes and dreams.
182. Shittin’ me britches.
183. Shitting into a Coinstar machine.
184. Shitting out part of a turd, sucking it back in, and shitting it back out over and over so you’re basically fucking yourself with your own shit.
185. Showing deference to the King of Thailand.
186. Slappin’ dat pussaaayyyyyy!
187. Slut-shaming.
188. Smearing feces on the walls.
189. Smokin’ a joint, eatin’ some cat food, and watchin’ Law & Order SVU.
190. Socialism.
191. Some piece-of-shit birdhouse my kid made.
192. Some sort of alien lobster handjob contest.
193. Spending way too long picking a restaurant.
194. Sponsored content.
195. Squeezing an egg out of my bird pussy.
196. Stabbing a motherfucker in the face.
197. Staging a coup.
198. Stompin’ around, humpin’ and dumpin’.
199. Sturdy Bulgarian women.
200. Sucking period clumps through a boba straw.
201. Swallowing an unopened can of beer.
202. Taking a nap, and then taking another nap.
203. Taking forever to cum.
204. Tentacles.
205. Testing a picture of my asshole to Ted Cruz.
206. The American healthcare system.
207. The Annual San Diego Conference of Blowjobs.
208. The breakup of Yugoslavia.
209. The duck who eats bread out of my ass.
210. The Electoral College.
211. The Great British Baking Show.
212. The guillotine.
213. The horrible things that giving birth does to your vagina.
214. The joys of motherhood.
215. The kind of epic diarrhea that the ancient bards wrote songs about.
216. The legacy of slavery.
217. The long fingernail guy from The Guinness Book of World Records.
218. The official company motto of Starbucks: “To inspire and nurture the human spirit — one person, one cup, and one neighborhood at a time.”
219. The pile of triceratops shit from Jurassic Park.
220. The profound humanism of Iranian cinema.
221. The Satisfyer Pro 2 Air Pulse Clitoris Stimulator.
222. The song “Uptown Funk” coming on.
223. The Swamp of Unlimited Pleasure.
224. The ten largest men from my village.
225. The terrible computer virus that put all this porn on my laptop.
226. The weird noises mom makes when she’s swallowing big veggies.
227. The world’s ugliest baby.
228. Thong crust.
229. Threatening legal action.
230. Throwing your dad into a dumpster and yelling, “Now I am dad!”
231. Thunderous lovemaking.
232. Thy anus.
233. Titty.
234. Toddlers.
235. Tongue-fucking them toes.
236. Transphobia.
237. Two dudes just bumpin’ their balls together.
238. Unresolved childhood trauma.
239. Watching someone fuck my wife.
240. Watching you poop.
241. Wearing a condom the proper way, around the balls and penis.
242. Wearing a MAGA hat.
243. Wearing the bicycle helmet during sex.
244. What I assume to be semen.
245. What the State of New Jersey describes as “public defecation.”
246. What?
247. Whatever Master desires.
248. White trash in a kiddie pool.
249. Wife-swapping.
250. Your father’s throbbin’ rockin’ penis.

Such fun card games can also be found at the Edition Cards shop. 

Other Card Lists Recommendations

Lucky you, the Everything Box isn’t the only Cards Against Humanity expansion we’ve made a card list for. Below, you will find our other favorite card lists: 

1. Cards Against Humanity Hot Box card list
2. Cards Against Humanity Glow in the Card card list
3. Cards Against Humanity Absurd box card list
4. Cards Against Humanity Red box card list
5. Cards Against Humanity Blue box card list
6. Cards Against Humanity Green box card list