The Red Box Cards Against Humanity Card List

The Red Box Card List - Cover Photo

The Red Box is one of our top picks from CAH expansions & themed packs and will soon be yours too, after you read this card list. This pack, released in 2016, has a total of 300 cards, and they come from the first, second, and third expansions, discontinued packs. Precisely, there are 70 black cards, and 230 white ones, meant to be added to the main game. 

If you’re looking for new fun card games, Edition Cards is the place!

The Red Box Black Cards List

  1. ______ is back! Only at McDonald’s.
  2. ______ would be woefully incomplete without ______.
  3. ______. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.
  4. A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of ______.
  5. A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with ______.
  6. After months of practice with ______, I think I’m finally ready for ______.
  7. And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn’t been for ______!
  8. And what did you bring for show and tell?
  9. As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for ______.
  10. Awww, sick! I just say this skater do a 720 kickflip into ______!
  11. Before ______, all we had was ______.
  12. Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate ______ in the workplace.
  13. Charades were ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out ______.
  14. Doctor, you’ve gone too far! The human body wasn’t meant to withstand that amount of ______!
  15. During high school I never really fit in until I found ______ club.
  16. During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into ______.
  17. Finally! A service that delivers ______ right to your door.
  18. Future Historians will agree that ______ marked the beginning of America’s decline.
  19. Having problems with ______? Try ______!
  20. Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll show you ______.
  21. I learned the hard way that you can’t cheer up a grieving friend with ______.
  22. I love being a mom. But it’s tough when my kids come home filthy from ______. That’s why there’s Tide®.
  23. I spent my whole life working toward ______, only to have it ruined by ______.
  24. I went from ______ to ______, all thanks to ______.
  25. I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for ______.
  26. If God didn’t want us to enjoy ______, he wouldn’t have given us ______.
  27. In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of ______.
  28. In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from ______.
  29. In Irish culture, mourners express their grief through a traditional practice of ______.
  30. In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated ______.
  31. In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure ______ for all eternity.
  32. Legend has it Prince wouldn’t perform without ______ in his dressing room.
  33. Listen, son. If you want to get involved with ______, I won’t stop you. Just steer clear of ______.
  34. Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and ______.
  35. Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re ______.
  36. Members of New York’s social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience ______.
  37. Michael Bay’s new three-hour action epic pits ______ against ______.
  38. Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me ______.
  39. My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of ______.
  40. My gym teacher got fired for adding ______ to the obstacle course.
  41. My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of ______ and ______.
  42. My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found ______.com/______.
  43. My new favorite porn star is Joey “______” McGee.
  44. My plan for world domination begins with ______.
  45. Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ______.
  46. Next week on the Discovery Channel, one man must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his wits.
  47. Only two things in life are certain: death and ______.
  48. Science will never explain ______.
  49. The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in ______.
  50. The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ______, acceptance.
  51. The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of ______.
  52. The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and ______.
  53. This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ______.
  54. This month’s Cosmo: “Spice up your sex life by bringing ______ into the bedroom.”
  55. To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of ______.
  56. Tonight on 20/20: What you don’t know about ______ could kill you.
  57. Turns out that ______-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.
  58. Welcome to Señor Frog’s! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, “______ on the Beach”?
  59. What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?
  60. What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?
  61. What left this stain on my couch?
  62. What makes Grandma feel young again?
  63. What makes me cry every time?
  64. When all else fails, I can always masturbate to ______.
  65. When I pooped, what came out of my butt?
  66. When the dog bites / When the bee stings / When I’m feeling sad / I simply remember ______ / And then I don’t feel so bad.
  67. When you get right down to it, ______ is just ______.
  68. With enough time and pressure, ______ will turn into ______.
  69. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve experienced ______ and ______ at the same time.
  70. Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with ______ alone.

These cards are just as fun as Cards Against Bikini Bottom!

The Red Box White Cards List

  1. A 55-gallon drum of lube.
  2. A big black dick.
  3. A bigger, blacker dick.
  4. A boo-boo.
  5. A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
  6. A complicated relationship with food.
  7. A cop who is also a dog.
  8. A dollop of sour cream.
  9. A drone strike.
  10. A fortuitous turnip harvest.
  11. A Japanese toaster you can fuck.
  12. A low standard of living.
  13. A magic hippie love cloud.
  14. A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
  15. A passionate Latino lover.
  16. A phantasmagoria of anal delights.
  17. A pile of squirming bodies.
  18. A piñata full of scorpions.
  19. A plunger to the face.
  20. A PowerPoint presentation.
  21. A sad fat dragon with no friends.
  22. A sales team of clowns and pedophiles.
  23. A sofa that says “I have style, but I like to be comfortable.”
  24. A special kind of yogurt called “cum.”
  25. A spontaneous conga line.
  26. A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
  27. A toilet.
  28. A vagina that leads to another dimension.
  29. Actually getting shot, for real.
  30. All my friends dying.
  31. All of this blood.
  32. An active shooter.
  33. An army of skeletons.
  34. An ass disaster.
  35. An ether-soaked rag.
  36. An Etsy steampunk strap-on.
  37. An evil man in evil clothes.
  38. An unstoppable wave of fire ants.
  39. André the Giant’s enormous, leathery scrotum.
  40. Another shot of morphine.
  41. Antifa.
  42. Barely legal boys.
  43. Basic human decency.
  44. Bearing many strong sons to work the potato fields.
  45. Being a busy adult with many important things to do.
  46. Being a danger to myself and others.
  47. Being a hideous beast that no one could love.
  48. Being awesome at sex.
  49. Being black.
  50. Being fat from noodles.
  51. Being useless.
  52. Being white.
  53. Big bad mama nipples.
  54. Big Bird’s brown, crusty asshole.
  55. Big ol’ floppy titties.
  56. Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.
  57. Bitches who knit.
  58. Blood farts.
  59. Blowing some dudes in an alley.
  60. Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
  61. Bullshit.
  62. Burning in hell.
  63. Buying the right pants to be cool.
  64. Catastrophic urethral trauma.
  65. Cheap immigrant labor.
  66. Chugging a lava lamp.
  67. Clams.
  68. Cock.
  69. Consent.
  70. Converting to Islam.
  71. Crabapples all over the fucking sidewalk.
  72. Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.
  73. Cumming deep and hard inside of a Cobb salad.
  74. Cumming deep inside my best bro.
  75. Dad’s funny balls.
  76. Daddy’s belt.
  77. Demonic possession.
  78. Disco fever.
  79. Double penetration.
  80. Drinking my bro’s pee-pee right out of his peen.
  81. Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.
  82. Dying alone and in pain.
  83. Emotional baggage.
  84. Exchanging sex for career advancement.
  85. Existing.
  86. Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.
  87. Filling my son with spaghetti.
  88. Finding Waldo.
  89. Fisting.
  90. Gandalf.
  91. Gargling jizz.
  92. Gay aliens.
  93. Generational wealth.
  94. Getting older and uglier.
  95. Going around punching people.
  96. Going night-night.
  97. Gout.
  98. Grandma shakin’ her ass.
  99. Grandpa’s ashes.
  100. Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
  101. Having $57 in the bank.
  102. Having a penis.
  103. Having sex on top of a pizza.
  104. Having shotguns for legs.
  105. Hillary Clinton.
  106. Hot brown piss.
  107. Hot doooooooogs.
  108. How awesome it is to be white.
  109. How wet my pussy is.
  110. Huge tits and a can-do attitude.
  111. Indescribable loneliness.
  112. Intimacy problems.
  113. Jafar.
  114. Jeff Goldblum.
  115. Jesus.
  116. Just the tip.
  117. Kim Jong-un.
  118. Letting everyone down.
  119. Licking French’s Brown Mustard out of a llama’s asshole.
  120. Literally eating shit.
  121. Mad hacky-sack skills.
  122. Maintaining eye contact with a grown man while he takes a shit.
  123. Making a friend.
  124. Making my man squirt.
  125. Making shit up.
  126. Making the penises kiss.
  127. Masturbating in a robe like a rich person.
  128. Me.
  129. Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.
  130. Mom.
  131. Mooing.
  132. Mufasa’s death scene.
  133. Multiple orgasms.
  134. My father, who died when I was seven.
  135. My first kill.
  136. My machete.
  137. My manservant, Claude.
  138. My puffy clit.
  139. Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.
  140. Not having sex.
  141. Nothing.
  142. Ominous background music.
  143. Oncoming traffic.
  144. One Ring to rule them all.
  145. One thousand Slim Jims.
  146. Our mutual friend Brad.
  147. Overpowering your father.
  148. Performing the sex of the hand.
  149. Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.
  150. Pumping out a baby every nine months.
  151. Quiche.
  152. Racial profiling.
  153. Reverse cowgirl.
  154. Rich people.
  155. Rising from the grave.
  156. Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
  157. Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.
  158. Samuel L. Jackson.
  159. Sanding off a man’s nose.
  160. Santa Claus.
  161. Screaming like a maniac.
  162. Scrotum tickling.
  163. Self-flagellation.
  164. Sexual humiliation.
  165. Sexual intercourse.
  166. Shaft.
  167. Shitting out a screaming face.
  168. Shutting the fuck up.
  169. Sitting on a dick and sipping green tea.
  170. Slapping a racist old lady.
  171. Slender toes begging to be sucked.
  172. Sneezing, farting, and cumming at the same time.
  173. Some douche with an acoustic guitar.
  174. Some kind of bird-man.
  175. Some really fucked-up shit.
  176. Sorcery.
  177. Special musical guest, Lizzo.
  178. Spending lots of money.
  179. Staring at a painting and going “hmmmmmm…”
  180. Stinking like shit.
  181. Stockholm Syndrome
  182. Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.
  183. Suicidal thoughts.
  184. Suicide bombers.
  185. Survivor’s guilt.
  186. Swedes.
  187. Syphilis.
  188. Taking a man’s eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
  189. That ass.
  190. The baby that ruined my pussy.
  191. The boners of the elderly.
  192. The Dakota Access Pipeline.
  193. The day the birds attacked.
  194. The economy.
  195. The entire Internet.
  196. The flute.
  197. The Harlem Globetrotters.
  198. The harsh light of day.
  199. The hiccups.
  200. The hose.
  201. The human body.
  202. The lingering scent of gardenias.
  203. The mere concept of Applebee’s®.
  204. The milk that comes out of a person.
  205. The mixing of the races.
  206. The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
  207. The people of Florida.
  208. The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
  209. The prunes I’ve been saving for you in my armpits.
  210. The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili’s.®
  211. The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.
  212. The total collapse of the global financial system.
  213. The way white people is.
  214. Tiny nipples.
  215. Tongue.
  216. Tripping balls.
  217. Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.
  218. Velcro™.
  219. Vietnam flashbacks.
  220. Vomiting mid-blowjob.
  221. Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom’s mouth.
  222. Warm, velvety muppet sex.
  223. Wearing an octopus for a hat.
  224. Wearing sweatpants to showcase the penis.
  225. Wet butt.
  226. Whining like a little bitch.
  227. White power.
  228. Winning first place at the Tallahassee Pig Fucking Tournament.
  229. Yodeling into a pregnant woman’s vagina.
  230. Your dad, who says “hi.”

Other Card Lists Recommendations

You love the Red Box, and you’ll love the others too. We’ve made a few other card lists and we suggest you take a look at them: 

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