Personalize Cards Against Humanity: Card Ideas For Your Blank Cards!

Your shitty jokes

Although all Cards Against Humanity decks are well-thought-out, and each card in each pack is hilarious, we suppose many of you would like to add a few personalized cards too. Your blank cards and our CAH card ideas are the best combination ever! 

Where To Write These Ideas?

Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas - Your Shitty Jokes

Here’s the thing. If you want to write these card ideas somewhere, you must have a few blank cards: 

Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas

This category of ideas includes usual Cards Against Humanity cards that could only be played by adults. 

Black cards:

  1. When my wife caught me cheating with ______she _______.
  2. After masturbating I like to  _______.
  3. In Mexico, you can do ____ while you’re ______.
  4. What’s the first thing I do when I’m out of prison?
  5. Twenty bucks would buy _____.
  6. Why do bitches be trippin?
  7. When I blacked out, I woke up with ______.
  8. All girls love ________.
Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas
  1. B*tch better have my ______.
  2. Star Wars Episode 7: ________.
  3. When I saw your mom naked it reminded me of_____.
  4. You should open a restaurant because ______ is worth 5 stars.
  5. ________ is like heaven in my mouth.
  6. ________ in the hand is worth ________.
  7. Look, ma! No ________!
  8. What’s the secret to my success?
  9. ________? I hardly knew her.
  10. ________? Me gusta.
  11. ________? That’s not gonna fit.
  12. ________. It’s what’s for dinner.
  13. Honey, did you really think it was a good idea to give the kids ________ for Christmas?
  14. In truth, 911 was orchestrated by ________.
  15. The greatest tragedy in mankind’s entire history is ________.
  16. Honey? Have you seen my ________?
  17. I asked for water, but the waitress gave me ________.
  18. I find your lack of ________ disturbing.
  19. Son, we need to talk. I found ________ in your bedside drawer and I’m concerned. 
  20. Pikachu used ________. It’s super effective!
  21. I’m on a quest to save the world from ________.
  22. When you wake up from a night of heavy drinking, you usually regret _______.
  23. Instead of turkey for Thanksgiving, I will be serving ________.
  24. It was all fun and games until________.
  25. Love is like ________.
  26. Money can’t buy love, but ________ can.
  27. My favorite YouTube video features ________.
  28. My Hobby: ________.
  29. Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s _____ grew three sizes that day.
  30. My parents met through a mutual interest in ________.
  31. I’m just doing what I do best: ______.
  32. Without the aid of ________.
  33. ________: the all-anal final chapter.
  34. ________: It’s part of a complete breakfast.
  35. New from Ben & Jerry’s: ________.
  36. What do I think about when I’m having trouble getting off?
  37. Nothing makes me hornier than ________.
  38. Parents, it’s never too late to talk to your kids about the dangers of ________.
  39. It’s ________ time!
  40. Recent legislation from Congress states that ________ is now being considered a vegetable.
  41. ________, the new fragrance from Calvin Klein.
  42. RESPECT MY ________!
  43. Scientists have discovered that prolonged masturbation leads to ________.
  44. Sorry, I can’t have ________. I’m on a diet.
  45. I got a fever and the only prescription is ________!
  46. The best part of waking up is ________ in your cup.
  47. There’s always money in ________.
  48. Never under any circumstances combine alcohol and ________ on the same night.
  49. I love the smell of ________ in the morning.
  50. What’s that sound?
  51. When I saw your mom naked, it reminded me of ________.
  52. ________. Not once. Maybe twice, three times, but never just once.
  53. It is often argued that our ancestors would have never evolved.
  54. If I were a superhero, what would my one weakness be?
  55. ________? Dude, that shit’s for faggots.
  56. A fatal attraction to ______.

White cards:

Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas 2
  1. Hookers and cocaine.
  2. A black hole of alcoholism.
  3. Waking up naked in jail.
  4. Dildo bikes.
  5. (Being) an analrapist.
  6. Hermione’s inner thigh (Cards Against Muggles).
  7. Used panties.
  8. Urine that smells like cupcakes.
  9. A small blue d*ck.
  10. Shrinking, just to travel up to my butthole.
  11. In Stephen King’s new novel, the monster is ___.
  12. A pirate ship of horny bunnies.
  13. Mexican man boobs.
  14. A proper way to suck on deez nuts.
  15. Twerking for Jesus.
  16. Nipple rings.
  17. Chasing the cock.
  18. Two girls, one cup.
  19. Your mom’s face. 
  20. Pyrophilia.
  21. Giving grandma & grandpa the shocker for Christmas. 
  22. Dating an Asian woman and giving her an exquisite blowjob.
  23. A body massage.
  24. The Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.
  25. The G spot.
  26. A blowjob with teeth.
  27. Surprise Buttsex.
  28. A Brazilian wax.
  29. Me in a thong.
  30. A gay pride parade.
  31. A stripper inside a giant cake.
  32. Being buried alive.
  33. Tapeworms.
  34. Having sex to Bob Ross on PBS.
  35. Shit in your hand.
  36. Being stoned to death.
  37. Teen Pregnancy.
  38. Explosive diarrhea.
  39. Getting your period for the first time.
  40. Handcuffs.
  41. Telling kids that they killed Santa when they are bad.
  42. Man Boobs.
  43. My dick in a box.
  44. Private pixie time.
  45. Weed brownies.
  46. Yeastly lesbos.
  47. Satan.
  48. Seductive French Maids.
  49. Tampons.
  50. Three and a half babies.
  51. Masturbating and accidentally frosting your cat
  52. Putting a drumstick up your ass.
  53. A T-Rex Trying to Masturbate.
  54. A burning sensation when you pee.
  55. Going gay for Ryan Gossling.
  56. A porn star with daddy issues.
  57. The Banana Stand.
  58. A 60-year-old who is hot in a weird way.

Clean Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas

Even though I doubt any of you would like to play a clean version of Cards Against Humanity, if for whatever reason you wanna do that, check the ideas below!

  1. The greatest rap battle in history! _____ vs. _____
  2. I knew I shouldn’t have dressed up as ___ for Halloween.
  3. I’m not a smart man, but I know what ____ is.
  4. When I was young, we didn’t have any fancy _____
  5. Why did the chicken cross the road?
  6. What was your major in college?
  7. My favorite bedtime story?
  8. To balance the budget, Congress is raising taxes on ________.
  9. Congratulations, you just earned a one-way ticket to _______.
  10. Hot girl summer is over. It’s time for _____.
  11. Damn, ______ you scary!
  12. Head, shoulders, knees, and _______.
  13. Love is ______!
  14. Boys’ night out will always include _______.
  15. Every night children pray for ______.
  16. If at first you don’t succeed, try ________.
  17. Better late than ________.
  18. What is really at the end of the rainbow?
  19.  _____, the struggle is real.
  20.  ______ was invented by the Mafia!
  21. If you go to jail you can count on _____.
  22. All supermarkets should have an aisle just for _______.
  23. I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with ______. 
Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas 3

White cards:

  1. Donald Trump.
  2. Family video.
  3. A nerd with glasses.
  4. Puberty.
  5. Five Guys.
  6. Seeing your name spelled incorrectly in a Starbucks cup.
  7. The ‘shy’ kid in the corner.
  8. A fart that came with its own company.
  9. Proposing to your stalker.
  10. 50 shades of hunger.
  11. Too hot to sit like a lady.
  12. Annoyed at first sight.
  13. Real sick of wearing underwear and responsibility.
  14. Running and farting in panic.
  15. A long romantic walk to the fridge.
  16. Joining the fan club of Hitler.
  17. Mosquitos that suck fat instead of blood.
  18. The talentless children of celebrities.
  19. A chocolate box of vegetables.
  20. Gas station fried chicken.
  21. A pack of angry vegans.
  22. Thoughts and prayer.

We do believe that you are creative enough to make your own shitty jokes. But, if you’re stuck anytime, our card ideas will help you out. Feel free to mix them with any other CAH decks, or with your deck of self-made cards.

Do not forget our Store for more Themed Cards Against Humanity, Like Muggles, Disney.

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