Cards Against Humanity Blank Card Ideas – Even the Dirty Ones

If none of the Cards Against Humanity packs have the perfect set of cards for your humour type, you can always make your own! We have made a list of blank card ideas you could use, or you can at least get inspired by them to create your perfect deck of CAH. All you have to do is write your favorite ones on the Your Shitty Jokes pack, or simply use handmade cards from cardboard pieces. 

Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas

Right below you’ll find cards that capture the original CAH humour, but with unique content. You can find clean prompts here, too, so if you’re playing with someone who’s under 17, or you just want to keep it family-friendly, go through the list and just pick what feels right. 

Black cards:

1. When my wife caught me cheating with _____________, she ______________.
2. In Mexico, you can do ____________ while you’re ________________.
3. What’s the first thing I do when I’m out of prison?
4. Twenty bucks would buy _____________.
5. Why do bitches be trippin’?
6. When I blacked out, I woke up with _____________.
7. All girls love _________________.
8. B*tch better have my ___________.
9. Star Wars Episode 7: _______________. (would go great on Cards Against Star Wars).
10. You should open a restaurant because ____________ is worth 5 stars.
11. _____________ is like heaven in my mouth.
12. What’s the secret to my success?
13. ________? Me gusta.
14. ____________? That’s not gonna fit.
15. ________. It’s what’s for dinner.
16. ______. YOLO.
17. Honey, did you really think it was a good idea to give the kids ________ for Christmas?
18. In truth, 911 was orchestrated by ____________.
19. The greatest tragedy in mankind’s entire history is ___________.
20. Honey? Have you seen my ________?
21. I asked for water, but the waitress gave me _____________.
22. I find your lack of ____________ disturbing.
23. Son, we need to talk. I found ____________ in your bedside drawer and I’m concerned. 
24. Pikachu used ___________. It’s super effective!
25. I’m on a quest to save the world from ____________.
26. When you wake up from a night of heavy drinking, you usually regret ___________.
27. Instead of turkey for Thanksgiving, I will be serving _____________.
28. It was all fun and games until_____________.
29. Love is like ___________.
30. Money can’t buy love, but ____________ can.
31. My favorite YouTube video features ___________.
32. Well, in Whoville they say that the Grinch’s __________ grew three sizes that day.
33. My parents met through a mutual interest in ____________.
34. I’m just doing what I do best: __________.
35. ________: It’s part of a complete breakfast.
36. New from Ben & Jerry’s: ________.
37. Parents, it’s never too late to talk to your kids about the dangers of _____________.
38. It’s ___________ time!
39. Recent legislation from Congress states that ________ is now being considered a vegetable.
40. ________, the new fragrance from Calvin Klein.
41. RESPECT MY ________!
42. Sorry, I can’t have ______________. I’m on a diet.
43. I got a fever and the only prescription is ______________!
44. The best part of waking up is ______________ in your cup.
45. There’s always money in ______________.
46. Never under any circumstances combine alcohol and ______________ on the same night.
47. I love the smell of ________ in the morning.
48. What’s that sound?
49. ________. Not once. Maybe twice, three times, but never just once.
50. If I were a superhero, what would my one weakness be?
51. ________? Dude, that shit’s for faggots.
52. A fatal attraction to ____________.
53. The greatest rap battle in history! ___________ vs. ___________
54. I knew I shouldn’t have dressed up as _________ for Halloween.
55. I’m not a smart man, but I know what __________ is.
56. My favorite bedtime story?
57. To balance the budget, Congress is raising taxes on ______________.
58. Congratulations, you just earned a one-way ticket to _____________.
59. Hot girl summer is over. It’s time for ___________.
60. Head, shoulders, knees, and _____________.
61. Love is ____________!
62. Boys’ night out will always include _____________.
63. Every night children pray for ____________.
64. If at first you don’t succeed, try ______________.
65. What is really at the end of the rainbow?
66.  ___________, the struggle is real.
67.  ____________ was invented by the Mafia!
68. If you go to jail you can count on ___________.
69. All supermarkets should have an aisle just for _____________.
70. I’m not emotionally equipped to deal with ____________. 

White cards:

1. Hookers and cocaine.
2. A black hole of alcoholism.
3. Waking up naked in jail.
4. Hermione’s inner thigh (Hermione from Cards Against Muggles).
5. Used panties.
6. Urine that smells like cupcakes.
7. Mexican man boobs.
8. A proper way to suck on deez nuts.
9. Nipple rings.
10. Two girls, one cup.
11. Your mom’s face. 
12. Giving Grandma and Grandpa the shocker for Christmas. 
13. A body massage.
14. The Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube.
15. A Brazilian wax.
16. A gay pride parade.
17. A stripper inside a giant cake.
18. Being buried alive.
19. Tapeworms.
20. Shit in your hand.
21. Being stoned to death.
22. Teen Pregnancy.
23. Explosive diarrhea.
24. Getting your period for the first time.
25. Handcuffs.
26. Telling kids that they killed Santa when they are bad.
27. Man Boobs.
28. Private pixie time.
29. Weed brownies.
30. Yeastly lesbos.
31. Satan.
32. Tampons.
33. Three and a half babies.
34. A T-Rex trying to Masturbate.
35. A burning sensation when you pee.
36. Going gay for Ryan Gosling.
37. A porn star with daddy issues.
38. The Banana Stand.
39. Donald Trump.
40. Family video.
41. A nerd with glasses.
42. Puberty.
43. Five Guys.
44. Seeing your name spelled incorrectly in a Starbucks cup.
45. The ‘shy’ kid in the corner.
46. A fart that came with its own company.
47. Proposing to your stalker.
48. 50 shades of hunger.
49. Too hot to sit like a lady.
50. Annoyed at first sight.
51. Really sick of wearing underwear and responsibility.
52. Running and farting in panic.
53. A long romantic walk to the fridge.
54. Joining the fan club of Hitler.
55. Mosquitos that suck fat instead of blood.
56. The talentless children of celebrities.
57. A chocolate box of vegetables.
58. Gas station fried chicken.
59. A pack of angry vegans.
60. Thoughts and prayer.

Dirty Cards Against Humanity Card Ideas

Obviously, most Cards Against Humanity cards are made for adults (except the ones in the Family Edition or expansions). However, if you’re truly after the really dirty ones, the list below has you covered!

Black cards:

1. After masturbating, I like to  ____________.
2. When I saw your mom naked, it reminded me of_____________.
3. ________: the all-anal final chapter.
4. Nothing makes me hornier than ________.
5. Scientists have discovered that prolonged masturbation leads to ________.
6. My safe word is __________.
7. The best way to impress a date is with __________.
8. Nothing says romance like __________.
9. I knew it was true love when they let me __________.
10. You haven’t truly lived until you’ve tried __________.
11. My kink? __________.
12. The last thing I googled before bed: __________.
13. Warning: Side effects may include __________.
14. Instead of foreplay, I prefer __________.
15. The secret ingredient in my lube is __________.
16. Pornhub just released a new category: __________.
17. My greatest sexual achievement: __________.
18. The only thing that turns me off is __________.
19. I got kicked out of the sex club for __________.
20. I thought it was whipped cream, but it was actually __________.
21. The real reason I stopped going to church: __________.
22. My last words before orgasm: __________.
23. Turns out, you can get pregnant from __________.
24. Forget Fifty Shades of Gray —my book is called Fifty Shades of __________.
25. I never thought I’d cry during sex until __________.
26. My therapist says my biggest issue is __________.
27. The only thing tighter than my schedule is __________.
28. What’s that smell? __________.
29. I lost my virginity to __________.
30. Don’t knock __________ until you’ve tried it.
31. The worst thing to say during a blowjob: __________.
32. My biggest turn-off is __________.
33. I use __________ instead of Viagra.
34. __________: because foreplay is overrated.
35. My browser history is 90% __________.
36. The weirdest thing I’ve moaned during sex: __________.
37. I only agree to threesomes if __________.
38. When the lights go out, I become __________.
39. Nothing says “I love you” like __________.
40. My vibrator runs on pure __________.
41. He came so fast, I thought he was powered by __________.
42. I moan the loudest when someone whispers __________.
43. I can’t finish unless __________.

White cards:

1. Dildo bikes.
2. (Being) an analrapist.
3. Taylor Swift’s breakup playlist, but naked.
4. A small blue d*ck.
5. Shrinking, just to travel up to my butthole.
6. A pirate ship of horny bunnies.
7. Twerking for Jesus.
8. Chasing the cock.
9. Pyrophilia.
10. Dating an Asian woman and giving her an exquisite blowjob.
11. The G spot.
12. A blowjob with teeth.
13. Surprise Buttsex.
14. Ryan Gosling moaning my name.
15. Having sex to Bob Ross on PBS.
16. My dick in a box.
17. Seductive French Maids.
18. Masturbating and accidentally frosting your cat
19. Putting a drumstick up your ass
20. A 60-year-old who is hot in a weird way.
21. Lube-flavored ice cream.
22. Dick glitter.
23. Accidentally moaning during a Zoom meeting.
24. A butt plug that lights up like a Christmas tree.
25. Lactating on command.
26. Sex noises coming from Alexa.
27. A cum-scented candle.
28. Erotic Lego roleplay.
29. Getting caught masturbating by your pet.
30. A vibrating coffin.
31. Dick pics in sepia filter.
32. A latex allergy and bad timing.
33. Kim Kardashian’s left butt cheek.
34. Reverse cowgirl injuries.
35. Getting turned on by your own reflection.
36. A threesome with your clones.
37. Accidentally sexting your boss.
38. A penis-shaped air freshener.
39. Crying during anal.
40. Calling your mom “Daddy” by mistake.
41. Sex so bad it summoned a demon.
42. A 3-day erection and no regrets.
43. Accidentally calling someone “mommy” in bed.
44. A penis with performance anxiety.
45. Getting pegged under the mistletoe.
46. The sound of wet spaghetti.
47. A dragon with daddy issues.
48. A vibrating toothbrush named “Gary.”
49. Pulling out too late.
50. A cock so crooked it has its own postcode.
51. Licking Nutella off questionable places.
52. Getting handcuffed to IKEA furniture.
53. Accidentally farting during foreplay.
54. The time I banged a time traveler.
55. Getting turned on by funeral music.
56. Using whipped cream as sunscreen.
57. A tongue with its own personality.
58. A hairy situation down south.
59. Naked Twister gone wrong.
60. D*ck-shaped pasta and zero shame.
61. Accidentally liking a 2013 bikini photo.
62. Getting off to ASMR pickle videos.
63. Sexually confusing yoga positions.
64. The wrong hole, but the right attitude.
65. A vibrator powered by the Force. (Star Wars themed, indeed)

You can also write down these cards on biggerblackercards.com, which allows you to create a free PDF of your CAH deck of cards!

We do believe that you are creative enough to make your own shitty jokes. But if you’re ever stuck, our list of card ideas will save you. You can mix the two categories together, as well as with any other Cards Against Humanity game, and the fun will be endless.